Half Their Wall Is Now Sitting on the Bonnet of a Green Fiat Uno.

23rd January 2000

23rd January 2000

12.13 PM - I was staring out of the window .. trying to ignore the pain of my still sprained wrist, Just looking at my Ordinary street, full of my painfully Ordinary neighbours living their agonisingly Ordinary lives. When out of nowhere a car comes racing round the corner and smacks into the Jones front garden wall. Half their wall is now sitting on the bonnet of a green Fiat Uno. The man driving the car who for the record looks about twelve has just gotten out of the car to inspect the damage. I would go and tell someone but there is very little point as them at no52 already have the curtains twitching, I am sure she will give the Jones of no45 Fame the full rundown on what happened. She’s like Miss Marple but with learning difficulties. The twelve-year-old driver has inspected the damage and has now driven off.

Did I just imagine this? or is this actually the most interesting thing to happen here in the sticks since we got hot and cold running water?

2.10 PM - No sign of the Jones - The garden is scattered with bricks. They are not going to be happy, Mr Jones only finished building that wall last week they used to have a fence.

3.35 PM - The Jones have just come home and seen their wall (Well what’s left of it) Mr Jones is F-ing and blinding and screaming all sorts of words I don’t even know what some of them mean.

This man should be on the stage he is hilarious. Right on cue, here comes the old boot from no52, giving Mr jones the scoop with every single detail of what happened. Mr Jones listens, bends down and starts pelting brinks at the garden gnomes I'm not sure how that’s going to help! Oh, and now he’s gone back to the F-ing and blinding .. my god, what an inbred freak he truly is.

Anyway, I have some English homework I better get done. School tomorrow. You know right now between you and me I really do hate my life. Although I must say I am glad I am not Mr Jones.